I Hate Loombands!
I am writing this on behalf of my daughter and myself, and we have come to the conclusion that many will also eventually come to terms with. Loom bands are a product of the devil. These little retched bits and pieces started appearing sometime around the beginning of the year, and just kept coming and coming and coming. Being the (horrible) not-giving-in-to-this-latest-craze mum that I am, I was a little slow off the mark in actually purchasing some for my kids. So at first it was easy enough with a little packet of bands (no loom) and basic looping. Everyone was happy.
And then things got harder and harder as the patterns became more complex. I needed to get Miss a loom to achieve this next level of greatness. The only one I could find was a crappy travel size one, which of course did not match the ones on the instructional videos we found together on youtube. So at this time we were struggling to keep up with the videos as we needed to hold the flimsy loom in place at the same time we were using it. Tough. And to add to our misery, her friends in school were turning up with bands, rings, key chains, skipping ropes, one little girl had even made 2 figurines from a popular cartoon show.
But my eight year old daughter and I were stuck in the basics.
Determined not to let this shitty fad get the better of us, we kept trying. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do understand why loom bands are so popular with parents as well as kids, for once they weren’t relying on technology to entertain themselves, they were using their own hands and doing some incredibly creative weaving. I get it. However, spare a thought for the little ones like mine who isn’t very good at following instructions and has some extremely clever friends. After a particularly noisy meltdown one night after yet another failed attempt of her’s to make a bloody loom band snake, I promised her that I would help. So of course then I spent hours (yes it took me that long) making this bloody snake. The first time (well the first few times really) we thought we had it right and would pull the lot off the loom expecting a wonderful crafty creation, only to find bands flying everywhere, gaps, loose pieces and tears from the team. Even Daddy joined in saying “this is easy you just go that and here and hey presto… oh” his were worse than ours.
She went to bed and I kept at it. After the longest bloody time I had produced a snake. Imagine the relief. You probably know it yourself. I was SO happy to present this to my daughter in the morning and she was all smiles, ear to ear style. Joyfully skips off to choir, and when I go to pick her up after school she is intensely concerned and searching the playground for something. I go to ask and guess what? The snake was taken from a pile of books she left outside of the classroom. YOU’RE KIDDING ME!!! We get home and make another, at least it only took me one hour this time.
Since then we haven’t had too many run-ins with the little rubber bands, and I am filled with glee every time I suck one up into the vacuum cleaner. Now we have a better loom and a case jam packed full of the evil evil things, but my daughter still doesn’t believe in following instructions. She came to me the other day with an interesting looking creation on the loom asking me to pull it off for her. I comply and we are back in the world of bands flying this way and that and end up with a handful of unconnected bloody loom bands. I explain to her (once more) that it is very important to follow the directions, but all she cares about is that all of her friends can make snakes, waterfall bracelets and bouncy balls. She asks me what is wrong with her that she can’t even make something as simple as a ball. I hate this shit. I hate anything that makes her feel defeated. There is nothing wrong with you my perfect girl.
After a well-deserved rest from loom band worry, we took to it again tonight. I must be getting better, I only had to start over once! But after a half hour (13 minute video) and only 1 do-over, we ended up with a bouncy ball. I have a feeling that anytime she ever wants any loom product to be created, I will have to take an hour out of my day to sit with her and, well, do it for her. I love her, I hate loom bands!
Emma Eastman 2014