“That Soap Has Other People Privates On It” Child demands own soap what would you say?
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Baths have completely become redundant in our house now the kids are 8 and 10. I am quite enjoying this, as long ago I got to the stage where I would see baths as time consuming and just wanting clean kids… and quickly!
I had to laugh to myself the other day when my son announced that he did not want to use the soap. When I asked him why, he was apprehensive to answer but began to tell me how gross it was that he use the same soap as everyone else because other people put their privates on the soap! I wanted to say to him, oh it’s just us, you don’t need to worry about it, but another side arose in me that said, “hey he’s right, maybe that is pretty gross”! So I ended up saying “I understand how you can think that”. He then asked me if he could have his own soap. Ummmmmm sure, why not I thought.
So when next at Coles we hunted down a soap box. Yes I hear you, this will mean the other kids in the house will want their own soap too. Maybe, and while I would find this a little painful as I really don’t care too much who in the house has used the same soap as myself, it’s important to remember to respect the individuality, view point and preferences in our kids. So when I think about the potential of three soap boxes sitting in the shower, it’s no big deal, but what is a big deal to my son, is that his preference for something that I don’t see a need for is respected and I’m all for that.
It can be very easy to mistake individuality for poor or attention seeking behaviour, and while there is no magic answer here, a big part is knowing your child as best as you can and even more so questioning before making up your mind. So before you next say no, simply ask yourself, is this poor or attention seeking behaviour or is it individuality? Do this and you are well on your way to making the right choice and allowing your child to develop their own individuality.
By Danielle Mantakoul